DBT involves a skill called “stop” when you use mindfulness to notice when you are in an “emotion mind” - where emotions are dictating your behavior. During this state of mind, when we act on action urges, we tend to make situations worse. When this happens, you must step away and try to figure out the end goal from a state in which you’re not reactive and then making that happen.
What is your “wise mind” telling you in these situations? The best way to handle the situation is to go within yourself to make these choices .
Drama Triangle- Three ends made up of the victim, the villain, and the hero. The hero part of the triangle, which is an unconscious way to be, is when we're seeing somebody else in pain and we try to take the pain away. We all need to grow and feel our feelings to navigate them. Although you may want to heal someone for them, don't hero them. Let them feel and be with them alongside providing the support you can.
Figuring everything out feels very cognitively oriented and that once you know “why” then everything will change. While the “why” is super helpful, what if instead of figuring everything out we join the journey of life and allow and let things flow?
When we are ambivalent we are unsure, but just sit with it and let yourself be that way.